To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves; let us be above such transparent egotism. If you can’t say good and encouraging things, say nothing. Nothing is often a good thing to do, and always a clever thing to say.
“But isn’t silence a sign of weakness?” my coachee asked. We were discussing a difficult meeting he had with his peers, who had pummeled him with questions for which he was unprepared. On reflection, he was very dissatisfied with his response which he felt came across as being defensive.
As a coach, I am asked to help executives correct behaviour that has resulted in serious personal and organizational performance issues. Typically, the boss will call me and point out the deficiencies and the problems that have ensued. And I will ask: “Have you told him (or her)”?
Shift your focus from what's going wrong to what's going right.
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