“What do I do if my team asks me a question and I don’t know the answer?” asked my coaching client, eager to learn how to be a more effective leader of her team.
I have heard this many times in my years of experience as a facilitator and coach. It’s rooted in the fear that many leaders feel of being viewed as weak, incompetent and unable to perform. Behind this fear are beliefs about leadership that are being challenged today, the most pervasive being that leaders must always have the answers. This belief, deeply ingrained in many organizational cultures, stems from the expectation that leaders are the ultimate authorities, the repositories of wisdom and expertise. Indeed, not only is it cultural, but it’s exacerbated by deeply hierarchical structures where authority, information and decision-making are concentrated at the top. However, this mindset is likely to be unrealistic and detrimental, particularly in today’s environment where leaders are required to be less authoritarian and more collaborative, and where curiosity, creativity and innovation are valued to solve challenges experienced in our fast-paced changing world.
The pressure to be and know all, and to perform at peak all the time, may lead to a facade of certainty, where leaders give spur of the moment, uninformed answers or make hasty decisions to maintain their image. When this happens, chances are your team and all around you will see right through your façade, leading to a lack of trust and lessening your credibility – the very reason why you were reticent in admitting that you do not know!
Is it possible for someone to know everything?
Absolutely not! Think about how much knowledge there is in the world, even in just a library, and you will see that it’s impossible for any one person to know every answer. Einstein and DaVinci didn’t know everything, and neither do you. So, know that you are in good company of the unknowledgeable and let go of the belief that you can know everything. Recognizing that it’s okay not to know can release you from the burden of being omniscient to a collaborative journey of growth and discovery with your team.
“’I do not know’ is an immense possibility. Only when you realize ‘I do not know,’ the longing, the seeking, and the possibility of knowing arise.” Sadhguru, Indian Mystic
Admitting that you do not know can put you in a position of strength and possibility:
- Builds Trust: Honesty fosters trust. When you admit your limitations, it humanizes you and strengthens the team’s trust in your integrity.
- Encourages Learning: Acknowledging gaps in your knowledge promotes a culture of curiosity and continuous learning. It encourages you and your team members to seek out information and learn from each other.
- Fosters Collaboration: It opens the door for collaborative problem-solving, where team members feel valued for their expertise and contributions. Your team members have brains – use them!
- Reduces Pressure: It alleviates the unrealistic pressure on you to be infallible, allowing you to focus on effective decision-making rather than maintaining an illusion of omniscience.
The next time someone asks you a question, and you don’t know the answer, pause and consider how you might respond. Here are 3 possibilities:
- Admit your ignorance: “I don’t know”. It shows humility and a honesty, and opens space for them to admit when they don’t know.
- Ask the team for their insights and suggestions and be open to them: “I don’t know, but let’s find out together”. “I don’t know. What do you think?” or “Does anyone have experience with this?” There is room for all minds to be on deck, to contribute to the pool of knowledge resident in your team. They know stuff you don’t know – tap into that.
- Commit to Finding Answers: “I don’t know. Let me look into it and get back to you.” Nowadays, information is so readily available that you can quickly find answers. Also, you can seek counsel of otherwise heads within and outside of your organization, including your mentors and coaches. Think of having your own go-to group of wise people who can help you find answers.
You do not need to have all the answers to be an effective leader. Indeed, it’s impossible. Embrace the unknown and turn it into an opportunity for the growth of you and your team. See “I do not know” not as weakness, but as a chance to engage, inspire, and learn alongside each other.
Here’s one of my favourite quotes from the Zen Buddhist Monk, Shinryu Suzuki:
“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities; in the expert’s mind there are few”
When someone asks you a question, and you do not know, start with your beginner’s mind.
