Need to get things done urgently? Try patience

“Marguerite! You are not listening to me!” Wade blurted, his voice at a pitch, likely honed from his years as a professional cricketer, shouting to his teammates on the field. “And this doesn’t feel like fun,” he added for good measure, knowing how much I value this.

The clock was ticking past the 2 hours scheduled for the online workshop and we still had much to cover. I kept silent, hearing him drone on, rehashing his point for the second or third time. “I got it. I understand,” I screamed silently, clock still ticking away.

Wade is my client. He had asked me to facilitate a strategy review that had to be delivered online, as his team operates in two countries, and I in a third. His organization had had a difficult year and needed to save costs.

During the workshop, I had proffered some advice on the organizations’ financial strategy and what I thought they needed to do. On reflection, I did this in a very straightforward and directive manner – “You need to consider …” – rather than my usual facilitative approach of asking questions. I thought that the direct approach would speed things up. It didn’t. Wade departed on a long-winded explanation of why what I wanted them to do would not work and why he would not do it. I replied that I was only making a suggestion. He responded that my suggestion was ridiculous and could not work. I cut him off and told him I understood. And that’s when he accused me of not listening. And he was right, in a way.

I had heard Wade and understood what he said. He’s a very intelligent man, whose opinion I respect. The first time he explained his position, it made sense to me. But Wade did not feel I was listening. He was not feeling listened to. We spent a good 10 minutes with this banter, in a whirlpool of non-listening.

My conversation with Wade weighed on me after the workshop. A workshop is a microcosm for the practice of leadership. As the facilitator, I am charged with leading a group of people towards an agreed goal, and to do so in a way that all feel involved and inspired. I was committed to ending the workshop on time. So I allowed urgency to get the better of my patience.

And so it is in organisations – when things are urgent, changing fast and you, the leader, have the responsibility for getting things done ASAP, what role is there for patience? In our fast-paced world of change, is there time for patience? Can a leader maintain urgency to get things done AND patience? Can being patient actually speed things up?

Reflecting on my experience in the workshop, I realise that patience allows room for others to become involved, to feel involved and to not feel railroaded. When a leader is impatient, it creates stress and resistance. And that often ends up taking more time than the patient route.

Patience is a virtue, my mother always told me. I believe it’s a virtue in leadership as well. It allows leaders the space to listen, to involve, to get people on board so that the team can move ahead together. I am convinced that had I been patient with Wade, listened to him, and showed him that I was listening, the workshop would have been completed sooner. And we would both have had fun.