Daniel, one of my star coaching clients, has long delayed taking vacations because he worried that his team wouldn’t be able to cope. 3 months ago, he shared that during his recent vacation, his team members really pulled together. They didn’t call him and dealt with whatever matters came up. He was thrilled, and so appreciative.
“Did you tell them” I asked.
Shortly after, a new hire, Hector, had been showing amazing initiative in his early days on the job – asking to try things, volunteering for tasks, preparing analyses unasked. Daniel was thrilled at his level of energy, interest and drive.
“Did you tell him?” I asked.
2 weeks ago, he related that the digital transformation at his firm was surprisingly, going very well, unlike his experiences in other organizations. The leader of the initiative, one of his fellow managers, was doing a great job, he opined.
“Did you tell her?” I asked.
2 hours after we ended our call, I received this text from Daniel:
“OK, so Sandra was almost in tears on the phone when I told her I really appreciated the work she was doing”.
Often, when I ask my coaching clients if the question I had been asking Daniel, I am greeted with silence, then a surprised “No. I never thought of it”. Yet we know from our own experience the effect that appreciation has on us:
- It reminds us that we matter
- It tells us that what we have done is important and valued by others
- And it just makes us feel “warm and fuzzy”
In the workplace, appreciation has even greater value:
- It provides clarity about our expectations
- If reinforces the behaviour that we value
- It enhances relationships
We are quick to default to the negative and point out what others do wrong. What if instead, we defaulted to the positive and expressed appreciation deliberately? Here are 5 tips on how to do this effectively:
- Be brief and concise – this not the time for a long missive on all the things you appreciate about the person. Just one instance at a time.
- Be specific about what you appreciate, so that the person understands and is clear.
- State the impact it has on you or others. This helps the person understand why what they did was important.
- Share the appreciation as close to the act as possible. Allowing too much time to pass, may suggest that the appreciation is an afterthought.
- Be genuine in your appreciation – make sure you really DO appreciate and are grateful for what the person did.
I view appreciation as coaching – indeed, I teach Appreciative Feedforward in my Leadership Evolution programme. To make it a leadership practice, be on the lookout for opportunities to share appreciation. Don’t assume that your team members know. Set an intention to give appreciation at least once per day (remember though, it must be genuine). Not only will they feel “warm and fuzzy”, but so will you!
So, dear reader, let me share that I appreciate you. I am grateful that you are on my email list and that you read my posts, comment and share. It makes me feel that my work is valued and important, and keeps me motivated to continue writing. Thank you.
