True or False? Women can have it all
Happy International Women’s Day! Today, we celebrate the innumerable achievements and contributions of women around the world.
Even as we celebrate, I think it’s crucial to address an “elephant in the room”: the pressure placed on women to “have it all.” But what does that really mean? And more importantly, what does it mean for you, personally?
In society’s narrative, “having it all” often conjures images of a successful career, a fulfilling family life, financial wealth, perfect health, and boundless happiness all at the same time. It’s an all-encompassing ideal that seems both desirable and daunting. In reality, the definition of “all” varies drastically from one woman to another.
For some, “having it all” might mean climbing the corporate ladder, for others it means being a stay at home mom nurturing a family, or pursuing passions, traveling the world, or making a difference in their communities. Most likely, it’s some combination of these. Which is where the rub happens – we get involved in a juggling act of trying to have all of these, all at the same time. But there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Your version of “having it all” ought to be uniquely yours, shaped by your values, aspirations, and life experiences.
“Having it all means having the same work and family choices that men do. It doesn’t mean having everything you want—no one has that. It means being able to choose what you want.” – Anne-Marie Slaughter
We find ourselves overwhelmed by the weight of expectations – both external and self-imposed. We’re bombarded with messages that we must excel in every aspect of our lives simultaneously, leaving little room for imperfection, to just be human, foibles and all. But here’s the reality:
At any given moment, you may not have it all, and that’s perfectly okay.
Life is a journey, not a destination. Your definition of “all” evolves over time as your priorities shift, your circumstances change, and your understanding of fulfilment deepens. What’s crucial is not to strive for society’s ideal of perfection, but to define what “having it all” means to you and embrace it wholeheartedly.
So, how do you go about having YOUR “all”? Here are 5 simple steps to help you on your journey:
- Reflection: Take some time to reflect on what truly matters to you. What brings you joy, fulfilment, and a sense of purpose? Write down everything that comes to mind, whether it’s career goals, relationships, personal growth, or experiences you wish to have. Examine the “shoulds” in your life as well – the things you do out of obligation or because that’s just what you were once told. Are the goals and aspirations that remain unfulfilled really important to you? Reflect on these, dig deep and avoid judging yourself.
- Gratitude: acknowledge and appreciate all that you already have. Gratitude is a powerful practice that shifts your focus from scarcity to abundance, allowing you to recognize the blessings in your life. You will probably realise that you have way more than you think!
- Vision: imagine your life of “all”. Write down your vision for the next 10 years, expressing in detail what having it all would look like. If you have done visioning before, you may note a difference in this exercise – greater focus and clarity and about what your unique “all” is.
- Create space – decide what you might want to eliminate or reduce in your life and do it. Learn to say a gracious “No” to requests that are not in alignment with your all.
- Focus on your all, what actions you will be taking on a daily, weekly or monthly basis to realise and manifest your version of having it all
True or False? Women can have it all
My answer is both – TRUE that we can have OUR all, and FALSE that we can have the all as defined and stipulated by society.
“Having it all” is not about perfection or external validation. It’s about living authentically, aligning with your values, and honouring your unique path. As we celebrate International Women’s Day, may we all redefine success on our own terms and empower each other to embrace our individual versions of “all.” The greatest fulfilment comes from living a life true to yourself.
“Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drowned your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs
TAKE ONE ACTION:
I started my International Women’s Day by writng a gratitude list of all the women who have loved, supported and contributed to my life. My heart soared as I formally recognised how much love and inspiration I have received, and still do, from women (and some men too).
Make your own gratitude list – include those who have contributed lovingly as well as those who have taught you some tough, painful lessons. Thank those who have been fundamental to your life, those who may have appeared for a fleeting moment, and those who you have never met but have inspired you.
