Many years ago, when I had my facilitation firm in Jamaica, I read an article in a 1999 edition of the Harvard Business Review entitled: “The Strategic Power of Saying No” by Susan Bishop. It was so powerful that my team and I coined a term – “SPOSN” that we used to guide us when faced with major decisions. “Should we SPOSN?” was a common question at Growth Facilitators.
In my blog of June 24 of this year titled: “5 Lessons From Saying Yes and Then Choosing to Say No”, I wrote about my decision to cancel participation in a conference. I had learned my lesson. Yet two months after that, I was back in the same situation. And this time I couldn’t say no. It was too late.
You see, earlier this year, I was asked to participate in a project. “You are the right person for this Marguerite. We immediately thought of you”. As is my wont, I said yes out of habit. My portion was not due until August, so I figured I had lots of time to prepare. It had been many years since I had done that type of work, due to the strategic shifts in my business to coaching and leadership development. But perhaps bolstered by the compliments, and despite the recognition of my strategic shift, my ego had said a resounding, enthusiastic yes.
August rolled around and I had to deliver. It was a disaster. Because it was an old topic, I had to conduct extensive research to determine new thinking and practice around it. This required creating new work plans and resources from scratch. It was all-consuming, which meant that my core client work was in danger. To get everything done, I sacrificed my personal wellbeing – I found myself short on sleep and exercise and long on frustration and anger. I blamed no-one but myself. It was clear that I should have said no. Whilst I ended up doing a good job and even enjoying it, at the end I was wiped out, exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally.
I remembered SPOSN. I reread the HBR article, the main point of which is that to grow, sometimes you have to say no. The fundamental, underlying SPOSN question is:
Does this contribute to my strategy?
This is an important question for leaders to ask when grappling with significant decisions. It actually makes the decision easier because it’s a simple yes or no answer. The difficulty comes if you feel the answer no is uncomfortable, and you are tempted to try to find every possible reason to argue against it. Saying no takes relentless, consistent practice – after all, you are changing a long-ingrained habit. It takes courage. It’s not easy saying no to opportunities when you are trying to grow our business.
“Learning to say no has been the hardest [challenge] of all. It has also been the most rewarding”, Bishop concluded in her article.
I agree. Two weeks ago, I was asked to join a team of facilitators. I eagerly said yes, as there seemed to be many benefits – new clients, new markets, business expansion within my area of expertise. As I watched the orientation session replay (first sign that I should have said no, as I had forgotten about the session), within the first five minutes, I realized that this was not the opportunity for me. I stopped the video, and in a carefully crafted e-mail, graciously declined. The moment I pressed “SEND” the freedom I felt was palpable. In that space of no, I knew I was opening space for more opportunities – the right ones for me i.e. the strategically important ones.
Of course, this question assumes that you are clear on your strategy. If asking it doesn’t result in a clear, simple answer, then it may be that you need to review your strategy, and have an ongoing process for monitoring its execution. The clearer you are about your strategy, the easier (or less difficult) it is to say no to the wrong things and yes to the right ones.
